One dream. Changed Lives.

Time always just fly past us without us really noticing it.
It seems like yesterday that I just reached Yogyakarta, feeling all enthusiatic about my new life here. Wasn't easy though but it's all memorable.

Well, experts said that to prevent dementia when we get old, it's good that we always train our brains to recall event be it recent or distance.

Therefore, this is my story.

Dream is something essential that everyone should have or at least once had. I once had a dream that changed my life ever since. For an average student like me, that dream never seems to be realistic, it was way out of imagination that someone not so bright, someone that never had once shine in studies would be able to make her dream come true.

It was more than a dream. That little girl believe it to be true. Medicine was my dream.

After SPM results came out, it was the most depressing scene. Well, I didn't score well enough for me to get a scholarship to do medicine. However a chance came in when I got an offer from Shanghai 2 university of medicine. I was all hyped up to take it, but soon a news came in when that university's degree isn't fully recognised by Malaysian government which required more test that is known to be tough. My parents disagree with the decision of going to China since there would be much hassles and uncertainty in the future. I gave it up. Set my eyes only on STPM and studied hard. It was never easy. Spending long hours in library, having to give up time for hanging with my best friends and having to cut down all activities in school. Looking back now, I'm glad I went through it. STPM was a tough one.

While waiting for my results to be out, I wasn't really anxious about it. I was enjoying myself teaching standard one children in a chinese primary school. It was the most unforgetable moment of my life. All i can say is, I love those children. It was some joy that nothing can buy. Sometimes they did gave me headaches, unhelpful parents came to school complaining, seeing naughty children learning to behave, teaching them from zero to someone, experiencing stress and handling them. I was life-changing. I always have passion for children. And that to see them still remembering me even after 6years is the most satisfying reward. It wasn't just any 6months, but it was some interesting, inspiring, impacting 6months we had.

Soon after STPM results are out, I didn't do good enough for me to enter local university for medicine. I had alternatives. Russia , India or Indonesia. I search through newspapers, internet, surveying every option that I had, and at a snap of hand, this is it - Indonesia, University of Gadjah Mada. My mom was reluctant to let me go. Especially after political issues that they had. Wasn't easy at all. Could recall those sleepless nights, some minor fights with my mom for not supporting me in this decision, even now tears just wet my face. Mom is always the best. I understand that she just want me to be near her. She was worried that her daughter might be over-stressed taking up such heavy course. She worried that she might not see me anymore ( with very bad impression on Indonesia ) till the extended that she wanted me to apply for Malaysian private medical schools. It wasn't easy that time due to financial issues. I made up my mind, prepared most of the things and ready to leave.

With a positive mind that I came to Indonesia to study and get my degree, I was all excited about any circumstances that would come my way. I knew I could do it and I have to endure it. I wasn't as tough as my mom thought. Yogyakarta is a very beautiful, slow going, laid back city. People are really friendly and polite. As a Yogya-graduated-Malaysian, I learnt their culture, picking up every positive traits that came my way. It was something different for a city girl like me.

Soon enough I went through all the blocks, different departments for my clinical rotations, many contributed to inspire me, mould me to be the doctor i dreamt to be.

Today, standing here in life, in my final department which is ophthalmology, and thinking back all the memories for this past 5 and a half years, there's only one thing that i can say, I am grateful that I'm here today. There were , are and will have many good and bad days. But I thank God for His grace, for family support, for many friends and teachers, and most importantly for my dearest mom and dad who had see me through all these while.

Well, we never know what will happen tomorrow. But my prayer is still the same, stay compassionate. I might not be the smartest doctor, but i'll try my best to always stay compassionate for the needy, to be a blessing to those who can't help themselves. Just like how I dreamt, many years ago.

Never, ever give up

There maybe times when things

aren't the way we hope to be,

everything looks impossible and

we feel like just giving up...

But then, sometimes, we just have to give it

another chance, another try,

just one more time...

Take things a step at a time.

Do what works best for you.

Be hopeful as you embrace each moment.

Use your inner strength and qualities.

Keep on believing that you can do it.

Look out for the light to shine on you.

You may just find that what seem difficult,

has just been made right.

Some people have difficulties expressing happiness, some find it so easy to write sad stories...
I like to remember all my happy moments... Do not want to pen down the hurts or pains...
All I can say is I still thank God for all these trails and pains. I want to tell the world out there, I will survive!
I know many of you care and wonder what's going on right now?
Nothing much, just dont let much pity party comes around.

When I'm not around anymore, will you still remember me?
I will always remember you...
As far i might be, as close to you in my prayers i will be.

Never Had A Dream Come True

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind. One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time, there's no use looking back or wondering how it could be now or might have been, all this i know but still i can't find ways to let you go...

I never had a dream come true till the day that i found you. Even though I pretend that I've moved on you'll always be my baby. I never found the words to say. You're the one I think about each day. And I know no matter where life takes me to, a part of me will always be with YOU...

Somewhere in my memory, I've lost the sense of time. And tomorrow can never be, cause yesterday is all that fills my mind. There's no use looking back or wondering, how it should be now or might have been, all this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go.

You'll always be the dream that fills my head, yes you will, say you will you know you will. You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget...
There's no use looking back or wondering, because love is a strange and funny thing. No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye.

I never had a dream come true till the day that i found you. Even though I pretend that I've moved on you'll always be my baby. I never found the words to say. You're the one I think about each day. And I know no matter where life takes me to, a part of me will always be with YOU...

This is for you...

Yogyakarta

When I first landed my feet on this land, I know it'll have to be my new home for the coming 5years. Nothing much here if you asked, but somehow after this 5years of "getting used to", I became very well fitted into this society here in Yogyakarta.

"Don't you wanna come to Yogyakarta and take a look on this place that I lived in for the past 5 years?" It's a question that i would casually ask my friends and family. The answer was always similar, "what is there to see?". Well, it's not as happening as Jakarta, no shopping spree like Bandung, no magnificient sight as in Danau Toba, no beautiful beaches like Bali... What is there to visit, they insisted. If that's the case you're thinking about, there is really nothing much to see here.

However, a picture says a thousand words, rather than me talking on and on about what we have here in Yogya, I might as well show you some pictures that i took ( unprofessionally ).

Presenting to you Mount Merapi's view from the airplane.

This is took @ Ketep Pass, a higher place which is cool and windy to have a better view of the mountains. Once we reached Ketep, just looking at the facinating great Mount Merapi and the greeneries around amazes me.

Introducing one of the wonders of the world- Borobudur. Wait, is this the one that we use to study in Sejarah, which was once upon a time? Yeah it is. Well before i came here, honestly i know nothing about Borobudur. But here it is, Travel Yogyakarta can never lack this tourist attraction!

I guess that's about it for today. Coming up more next on Tangerine Travels Yogyakarta.

Senyum~

Smile is always contagious. A smile can make someone's day brighter. Even though sometimes the effort fell on rotten potatoes, but well, who knows it actually made their day a little better.



So friends, dont forget to smile.



I remember when i first saw this picture, it reminds me of a resident in surgery department who likes to frown. He's trying to make himself look old and grumpy i guess. Well, i do believe if you like to frown like him, and saw this picture of this cute baby, i bet i'd just put a smile on your face.



Smile and today will be a better day. God bless.

Chinese Mooncake Festival 中秋节

For those of my friends who aren't chinese, this is specially dedicated to you...

Ever seen anyone enjoy playing chinese lanterns, lighting them up with candles, eating kuih (mooncakes) and burning stuff... Those are the things that childrens do when the moon is full on the 15th day of 8th month chinese calender 八月十五.



Well, remembering those innocent days when i use to enjoy lighting up lantern in the compound of my house, some of them burnt, some survived the night. Mom will always save the mooncakes till the night and everyone would just enjoy it together. We use to hang the lanterns on chopsticks to hold it and walk towards the nearby garden. This would be what children love to do - run around the garden with litted lanterns. It's just beautiful.



There are many types of lanterns. I remember making them myself too when i was in primary school. Some made of coloured papers, some using milo tins with nailed holes, some using plastics and wires, with all kinds of shapes and patterns.



My primary school always organises events for the celebration. It is just a simple night with some food, mooncakes, karaoke sessions, and most importantly is 猜灯谜 "cai deng mi" - guessing riddles on the walls. It's commonly riddles related to mandrin words, history and even poetries. Interesting yet always too difficult for me :)



Some other thing that i like about this festival is the story behind it. In short, a girl called Chang Er, took the longevity drink that was meant for the evil emperor and drank it herself. After drinking it, she flew to the moon with her rabbit on her hand... What a tale! There are other stories about this festival which i will not tell it today.



Just some photos to share that inspires to write about this festival. Ever since I came to study in Indonesia, there is no sight of this celebration anymore... Well, I promise I'll have nice mooncakes to show off next year round.

Tangerine's dream

When you were young I'm sure you use to have many dreams... Well at least I had many dreams. One of it was to travel. Talking about travelling, we always watch on tv on how wonderful the culture and places are. I only have one place that i dream of going - simple place near-by Malaysia, still in a 3rd world country. It is Bali. Thinking about nice beaches and greenery, only one word to describe - serenity.

Well, in august 2009 i finally got a chance to go there. No regrets. Just a few pictures that i want share with all. Enjoy.

Enjoy the cool breeze and facinating view from Kintamani at a buffet restaurant.





Sunset @ many places in Bali is just unforgetable. This is my sunset.

Personality Plus!

After LCCT upgraded itself, now the brand new LCCT is filled with duty free shops, cafes, and the is my favorite hang out while waiting in the boarding hall - a bookstore.

So, while waiting for the others to actually arrive in the boarding hall, landed my eyes on this interesting book. It just caught my attention that instant and a certain rush of adrenaline just drawed me to buy it. I paid, took the book, sat down while still waiting for my friends, and just couldn't stop reading.

Airasia doesn't have free seats anymore. If you wanna sit together with your family or friends, i heard you have to pre-booked the seats. Not sure about that, but all i know is i'm seated with a stranger. Therefore the most important thing to have during travelling, is a good book. And this, accompanied me for 3 long hours.

Tangerine Tart is loving this.



Get to know what kinda personality you have and understand the people around you and why sometimes you like them and sometimes they irritate you...

Are you a popular Sanguine? or a perfect Melancholy? may be a powerful Choleric? Or is it a peaceful Phlegmatic? Tell you about it next time :)

ChoCs

I'm lovin' it.

Hold Me Now - Johnny Logan

Don't, don't close your heart to how you feel

Dream, and dont be afraid a dream's not real

Close your eyes pretend it's just the two of us again

Make believe this moment here you stay

Touch, touch me the way you used to do

I know that I could be all I have with you

From now on, you'll be with someone else instead of me

So tonight let's fill this memory

So for the last time hold me now

Don't cry, don't say a word

Just hold me now and I

Will know though we're apart

We'll always be together

Forever in love

What did you say when words are not enough

Time, time will be kind once we're apart

And your tears, tears will have no place in your heart

I wish I could say how much I'll muss you when you go

All my love for you will go on

Hold me now
Don't cry, don't say a word
Hold me now
And try to understand that

I hope the glass you found is what you've been searching for

And though I won't be there anymore

I will always love you (hold me now)

Don't cry, dont say a word

Just hold me now

And I will know thought we're apart

We'll always be together

Forever in love

What did you say when words are not enough

What can i say now my words are not enough

What can i say about this song?

a romantic oldies... that reminds me of you...

Tetanus

Tetanus is caused by Clostridium tetani's exotoxin which leads to muscle spasms and rigidity, a cardinal feature of tetanus.

Cl. tetani lives in faeces, soil, dust, and on instruments. When a tiny breach in skin or mucosa might admit the spores --> exotoxins --> travels up to peripheral nerves and interferes with inhibitory synapses.

So, friends, when you have a recent wound, with fever, malaise, headache and later developed any part of rigidity, difficulty in opening the mouth, a grin-like posture of facial muscles, you may start thinking about tetanus.

Get expert help ASAP.

Anyway, there is prevention available now which we took when we were in form 3, active immunization with tetanus toxoid.

The begining of T4nG3Rin3 T4Rt

A blog that symbolise the my voice as a girl, a daughter, student, a teacher, a doctor, and a Christian.

Do join me in the process of learning, add knowledge an personal experience. There's a saying, it's wiser to learn from other's experience. So well, just some sharing of what i learn in my everyday life.